Playdates are a brilliant way of helping your child develop their social skills. As parents, we understand the importance of our children developing social skills and forming meaningful friendships. Some children are born social butterflies, intuitively understanding the art of making and keeping friends. Other children need a bit more support. Many children are naturally quiet or reserved and may not know how to start a conversation. Others need help in reading social cues, sharing toys, or taking conversational turns.
No matter where your children fit on this social spectrum, they can benefit from your nurturing guidance and example. One effective way to nurture these essential aspects of their growth is through playdates. Playdates provide a unique opportunity for kids to engage in fun activities while learning valuable social skills. Planning a play date can be overwhelming at times. We want things to go as planned and, above all, we want our child to make friends.
Building friendships involves an array of skills, including initiating interactions, taking turns, being flexible, asking questions, and negotiating. Invite just one child at first, which is less overwhelming for everyone and take an active role in the play dates. As your child gains experience, play dates will become more independent, with less direction from you.
5 Tips to assist your kid in getting along with friends during playdates:
1. Have a chat with your child before their playdate to get them ready: Discuss who is coming over and what is going to happen. Include concepts such as taking turns, sharing, or being a good friend. If possible, show your child a picture of their peer as you discuss.
2. Don’t be afraid of dealing with conflicts: Instead of jumping in quickly to prevent disasters, take a step back and allow your child to problem solve on his/her own. Children learn through trial and error, so we can’t be too afraid of the “error” part. If a situation begins to escalate, then step in and offer guidance to help peers solve the problem together. Avoid fixing the problem yourself.
3. Play dates should be structured: In a perfect world, play dates would always run smoothly, with children happily exploring and creating together. The reality is often something different. What if your child refuses to share or play with the other child? Or worse, the children have such a good time that your house is in shambles? Plan play date activities, such as play dough or puzzles, as ice breakers. Be sure to set some ground rules so everyone knows what to expect. Be prepared to kindly, but firmly, redirect behavior that’s run off course. Don’t hover, but stay nearby and intervene if things aren’t going well.
4. Make play dates a social skill-building activity: Subtly observing your child during a play date can help you understand her social strengths and weaknesses. After a play date, make a few gentle comments to nudge learning. Point out positive behaviors, such as, “I noticed that you let Mary swing first on the swing. That was really thoughtful of you!” These comments help children identify how to be a good friend and increase the chances of those behaviors being repeated. You can also help your child learn new behaviors.
5. Having playdates enriches cognitive development: During playdates, kids practice using higher-level thinking skills that help them use reasoning to solve problems using spoken language. For example, they might play hide-and-seek or other running games that teach them how to think creatively about solving problems independently, rather than relying on adults for all the answers.
In a world dominated by technology, it can be difficult to pull children away from their screens. By setting up regular playdates, you can help your child stay active and play with friends in fun and healthy ways. Playing outside especially is a great way to stay fit and active!
Playdates are an important component of every child’s healthy development. When children engage in play with others, it equips them with important skills that they will need to succeed and thrive throughout their lives.